Baby Busy!

Christmas vacation has been anything… but a vacation. We’ve been baby busy!

Early Sunday morning, Melissa woke me up to tell me about a soccer match... going on inside her belly. "Little Pele" was kicking up a storm. It was the first time I got to feel him kick it was awesome. He's going to be a soccer star... just like his dad.

Admittedly, the goatee makes me look like a pirate (and not in a good way).

The kicks (and payday) were enough to motivate me to finish the baby’s closet. That was the easy part. The challenge was putting away all the clothes the grandparents (and parents) have been buying. It’s a lot of work to get those sets apart.

 Look how small all those clothes are... unreal.

Today, we visited daycares. We’re not going to need them for probably seven months, but there’s a yearlong waiting list to get into these places. We get a pretty good rate at this particular centers because Melissa’s a state employee. They’re also nice because they’re close to work for both of us. That way on an especially slow news day I can pop in and say hello. I will say this… daycare providers must really love kids… that’s a whole lot of screaming.

 Not even born yet... and already looking for schools.

Finally, we wrapped up our baby day with a trip to the doc. It was your usual quick in and out appointment, except I got to go and hear the baby’s heartbeat. Amazing! Even better, the doctor said “some people record it with their cell phones”. Ding, Ding! So I recorded it and through the miracle of modern technology you can hear it for yourself.

6 Months of Pregnancy Boredom

Well we’re just about at the 6-month mark… and all I can say is this pregnancy has been… well… less exciting than I might have thought. In fact, my wife might be one of the least interesting pregnant women ever (I mean that in the nicest way).

Morning sickness? Sure she felt less than stellar some days, but that’s about it. (I’m not complaining about this, but it didn’t give me much to write about).

Where are those crazy cravings? I was hoping Melissa, would suddenly want pickles and ice cream or peanut butter and sardines. No such luck. My mom said when she was pregnant with me she just had to eat a hot dog from Carl’s Jr. everyday. EVERYDAY! (Yes, they sold hot dogs back then.) The closest Melissa has come to any of that, was a craving for a Pumpkin Spice Latte (decaf of course). Boring!

Maternity clothes? We haven’t bought any of those yet. Melissa is six months pregnant and most people can’t even tell she’s pregnant. Nothing. Barely even a bump. Look at the picture below… does she look pregnant to you!?!?!?

Seriously, if I hadn't seen the ultrasound I wouldn't believe there's a baby in there.

Don’t get me wrong, we had the excitement of finding out we were pregnant. And I’ve never been more excited about an ultrasound. But where are those hilarious (and embarrassing) stories that we’ll hold over our child for years to come?

Luckily, we have three months left.

(I also want to add this. Melissa pulled off the best surprise birthday present ever! She coordinated a trip to Tampa to see the Bucs play, brought along my brother and dad, managed to pack my bag and get me days off at work… all without me knowing. It was the best birthday ever, and I just thought you should all know.)

30th Birthday in Tampa!

(Would have been even nicer if the Bucs showed up for the game. Oh well.)

Ramblings of a Dad-to-Be

- Our baby is due April 11^th and is supposed to be a boy. Would it be the ultimate April Fools if the baby was born 10 days early and was a girl?

- I said “my son” for the first time the other day. It was a very real moment for me. This was after I bought him his first Buccaneers item-- a stuffed “Captain Fear”.

Cute or frightening? A little of both perhaps?

- A friend was telling me the other day about his young son drawing on the walls… with his poop. I’m not sure they make enough disinfectant wipes to clean that up.

- A girl I went to high school with had a 9.9 lb baby this week. I’ll write her a note to congratulate her, but first I have to revive Melissa who passed out after hearing this news.

- As soon as someone hears we’re having a boy, they want to know the name. That’s understandable. What I don’t get is why some of them seem angry when I won’t tell.

- I’m not going to tell you either. (Also, we haven’t decided)

- Beginning work on the nursery. We’re starting with a closet organizer… and none too soon we need somewhere to put all the baby clothes from the grandparents-to-be.

- Speaking of which... my mom and Melissa are going baby shopping this weekend. Babies R Us won't know what hit it.

- We signed up for all our baby classes. One class is 8 hours long. One is about breastfeeding. Going to be good blog material.

Two shameless plugs:

- Proving there really is an "App" for that... I’m actually updating my twitter page @roomforacarseat. So far I have 2 followers.

- I get paid for each time a reader clicks on an ad. So far I’m up to a $.25. Yep, a quarter can’t buy many diapers with that. Just remember, you don’t actually have to look at the ad.

Boy! Oh, Boy!

Sucking his thumb or picking his nose? You be the judge.

(Note: Melissa and I are having a boy. I could write an entire entry about how excited I am about it. I could tell you about the dozens of calls and texts I sent within minutes of finding out. I could mention that I immediately registered for the entire “Lil’ MVP” bedroom set (most of which Melissa has already and justifiably removed from the registry). I could also tell you that I’ve already started buying football themed onesies. I could talk about the smile that’s been on my face for two days. But I figure all that goes without saying. Instead, I figure I’ll let you inside my mind as we were finding out. The italics are my thoughts. The quotes are from the ultrasound tech. So without further ado…)

“First, I should ask… do you want to know?”

That’s a silly question. Of course I want to know. I’ve been counting down to this day since we made the appointment back in September. We just had to know.

“Ok, I’m going to put some warm gel on your belly.”

Whoa! Is that my baby? Why so… so… skeletal. It’s like I’m looking at Ghost Rider’s baby.

“A lot of people are surprised by the skeletal look of their baby. It’s normal at this stage.”

Is this lady in my mind? It’s so clear. This is amazing.

“There’s the baby’s face… nose, mouth, forehead…”

Come on, can’t we come back to the face? Let’s answer the big question first!

“Kidneys look good…”

Kidneys are good. We like kidneys. Look there are the hands, and fingers. I can see fingers, everyone of them! Holy cow, look at that spine. This is really truly amazing.

“Ok, let me measure the femur…”

Did I just see what I thought I saw. Was that a penis? Was it? I should ask. Wait, I don’t want to be the dad that says something and then she says, “that’s an arm”.

“Now we’re getting a bottom view of the baby. Here’s the butt…”

Is that it?!?!?

“…here are the legs…”

That’s got to be it.

“… and see that. You’re having a little boy”

I knew it… I KNEW IT. A BOY!!! WE’RE HAVING A BOY!!! MELI, WE’RE HAVING A BOY!!!

I think I need to sit down.

Boy or Girl? We'll Soon Know

We’re now just two weeks from our next major milestone… finding out the answer to the big question, boy or girl.

Oddly, a lot of people keep saying, “you’re going to ruin the surprise”. I disagree. It’s going to be just as much a surprise on November 20^th in the doctor’s office as it will be in April in the delivery room. Not to mention, this way we can start decorating the room in flowers or footballs sooner.

For whatever reason everyone assumes I want a boy and Melissa wants a girl. The latter is true. Melissa really wants a girl. Something about already raising a “little boy” in the house. I’m not sure, but that might be a shot at me.

As for me, well, a boy would be nice. I know boys. I used to be one. I love toys, trucks, dirt, bugs, and poop jokes. Seriously, the word “doodie” can keep me giggling for hours.

Girls? I’ll take one of those too. But here’s the problem. I don’t understand women now… so how could I raise one?

Besides, girls scare me… here’s my list why:

Diaper changing- Boys parts are on the outside, girls are not. Enough said.

High-Pitch squealing- So loud, so high pitched.

Barbie, American Girl, dolls, etc.- Dress the doll, undress it, dress it again, repeat. Really, this is fun?

Drama- Girls are drama. Drama over clothes. Drama over boys. Drama over other girls. And it gets worse as they get older, which leads us too…

Dating- We haven’t had our baby, and I’m already dreading the first date for one simple reason…

Boys- I know how boys think, and I’m supposed to trust one with my daughter? I’d rather father the predator than the prey.

Ok, maybe I am leaning toward a boy. We’ll find out in two weeks.

I am Bubble Boy!

I have a confession. Melissa and I have been sleeping in separate rooms.

It’s not because we’re fighting, or because she has snoring issues (she does), but because I was sick. I was placed in quarantine. I had become, like John Travolta and Jake Gyllenhall before me… “Bubble Boy”.

Melissa would have absolutely put me in a bubble if she could have.

And with good reason. I had a triple-digit fever, chills, headache, body aches, muscle aches. Even my aches ached. The last thing we need is for Melissa to get sick.

Luckily, it turns out Melissa is biohazard suit short of being a one-woman haz-mat crew. Much of the house now has the “fresh linen” scent of Lysol. Disinfectant wipes were used on everything else… even the dog.

Now, despite my quarantine Melissa still did her best to take care of me. It’s no easy task. I’m not exactly a peach to be around when I’m sick. I whine. I complain. I mope. I don’t listen to medical advice. I drive her crazy.

Like a trooper Melissa delivered soup, medication, even called work to tell them I wouldn’t be there. Perhaps the best example of her incredible bedside manner was when I told her (in an extremely sick and grumpy moment), “your bedside manner sucks” and she didn’t hit me (and she probably should have). In fact, she continued to take care of me.

If I learned anything during my three-day illness it’s this: If Melissa takes care of our baby half as well as she took care of this baby, then she’s going to be a wonderful mother.

By the way… now that my “bubble” has burst. I should fess up… she doesn’t really have a snoring issue. (Besides, I don’t want to sleep in separate beds anymore.)

Let the NAMES Begin!

Two things you should know about names and me. First, I insisted we wait until the 12-week mark to even begin the discussion. I’m superstitious enough that I didn’t want to jinx my own baby.

Second, taking a page out of our friend Deirdre’s book, we’re not going to tell anyone what the name is until after the baby is born. I don’t want to tell someone we’re naming our daughter Helga (which we’re not) and them tell me that there was a Helga in their 5^th grade class who had a cleft lip and smells of cabbage (small hands). Or, that the only Helga they knew was a floozy who slept with the entire dorm. Kind of sullies the name, don’t you think?

We also face another interesting challenge. My wife is Hispanic. My last name is not. Choosing a Hispanic first name will only cause an identity crisis for our child. Juan Chechourka? Let’s just name them “Ethnic Ambiguity”.

Looking for some inspiration we bought a book called “Cool Names for Babies”. While it has some good suggestions… it also has the following:

For Boys:

Link- It suggests this, but not Zelda. Glaring omission.

Legolas- Only if my child has pointy ears and hangs out with a hobbit

Wolverine- Seriously? How can I convince Melissa of this? Wolverine Chechourka!!!

XXXX- How would you even pronounce this?

For Girls:

Bloodrayne- This is the name of a half-dressed killer Vampiress. No thanks.

Blanche- Are we having a Golden Girl?

Fanny- I bet she’d NEVER get picked on.

Zeke- Under the chapter, “Geezer Names for Girls”. Hi, this is my daughter, Zeke.

Sigh. Good thing we still have 5 months to come up with something.

Ready... Register!

Nearly as dangerous as a real gun in my hand.

I had never been to a Babies R Us before. Why would I? Unless you have kids, or know somebody having kids, you wouldn’t go. Let me tell you something. That place is both WONDERFUL and OVERWHELMING.

As first-time parents, we need everything. Unfortunately, I don’t have a clue what “everything” includes.

The good news, the fine people at Babies R Us have complied a list for us. To get it, all we had to do was open a registry. (This is a good time to mention that registering for my wedding was painful. Thankfully, Melissa did 99% of it. I would have rather ordered invitations a hundred times over than look at plates again. I’m still not sure why we needed plates with Christmas trees on them).

This was different. Once that zapper gun was handed over… I was unleashed!

I didn’t just scan, I scanned with flair! I pulled the zapper gun out of my imaginary holster like I was in the OK Corral. I did a 360-spin scan. I went through the legs. (Ok, I didn’t actually do that, but I will next time.) No baby product was going to escape the reach of my zapper’s red beam.

I scanned bottles, bibs, thermometers, Baby Bjorns, cradles, cribs, and some kind of steamer/sterilizer thing. I even scanned a Nintendo Wii. Why does a baby need a Nintendo Wii? Who cares? I just know my baby’s going to want one (and his or her daddy does too!).

In the end our first trip to Babies R Us turned out to be a lesson in gun control. Not the kind that makes NRA members shudder… but the kind where Melissa takes the zapper away from me.

If you want to buy our baby something (or me a Nintendo Wii) check out our registry at Babies R Us. It’s under Chechourka.

Head of the Class

Melissa and I took our early pregnancy class this week. It was LONG. And while the two hours was mostly stuff we already knew… there’s always something new to learn.

Here are the top five things I learned:

1. SOMEONE’S JOB TITLE IS “LACTATION CONSULTANT”. Their job is to tell you how to breastfeed. There’s apparently a lot more to it than just mouth to boob. I guess a lot of women who struggle with this. I did not know this.

2. SOMEONE ELSE’S JOB TITLE IS “DOULA”. I’d never heard of this before. Neither had Melissa. Here’s the definition: “A woman who assists another woman during labor and provides support to her, the infant, and the family after childbirth.” Translation: No medical skill.

3. KEGEL EXERCISES CAN BE DONE AT ANYTIME. From now on when I see a woman sitting by herself at a stoplight… I’ll know what she’s doing.

4. ANOTHER REASON TO AVOID SHARKS. Not only can they eat you, you can get sick eating them. Note to self: avoid them in the ocean and at the grocery store.

5. I MAY HAVE TOXOPLASMOSIS. The symptoms include: fever (check) headache (check)… and stiff neck (check, check, check). Then again, you get this from handling cat feces, which thankfully I haven’t done much of lately.

The last thing I learned, we have a lot more to learn. There are about a dozen other classes to take… some on how to get ready for the baby, some on how to take care of the baby once they’re here.

There’s even a class to remind you how to get ready for a second child. I guess it’s comforting to know that even when you have kids, there’s still more to learn.

(Note to Kaiser: If you’re going to hold a 2-hour pregnancy class at 6 p.m. you might want to provide food. I swear one woman looked like she was going to slather me in BBQ sauce.)

Assignment: Consignment

Melissa and I went to this big Baby-Consignment sale tonight. I could write about it, but I don’t think I could do the experience justice. Luckily, I was armed with my iPhone.

This picture isn't out of focus. It's just that my eyes have glazed over. This place is overwhelming. Those people on the right... they are in the middle of the checkout line which you can see neither the beginning nor the end from here.

I'm in no way a snob. I'm just not sure I want to buy clothes someone else's kid puked on.

Bjorn of plenty. I tried one of these on. I couldn't get the smell out of my shirt afterward. That's not good.

Hemorrhoid donut? Nope. This is something called a "boppy". Still don't know what it's used for.

Whoa... St. Elmo's Fire! This is like the 7th Circle of Sesame Street Hell.

There are a lot of things I'm willing to buy second-hand. A used toilet is DEFINITELY not one of them.

A Quick By the Numbers

12

The number of weeks Melissa has been pregnant.

It’s a major milestone because once you get there the chances of miscarriage dramatically decrease. It’s also the number of weeks we agreed to get to before we started telling our family, friends and coworkers.

We’ve started telling people and the number one response: “I knew it”.

So how did all these people know? They say our recent SUV purchase and my hurry to get to the doctor was the give away. Who knew everyone was a pregnancy detective?

-------------------------------

160

Our baby’s number of heart beats per minute.

Melissa got to hear the beating heart at the doctor’s office the other day. The doc said the heart sounded strong. That’s good news.

Two different people told us an old wives tale about a heart rate 160 or higher means you’re having a girl. I’m not putting my faith in it. Maybe that’s because one of those people has a daughter who had a heart rate of 150. The other: a boy who had a rate of 172.

--------------------------------

1,000,000

That’s how many pieces of advice we’re already getting.

None of it has been better than from my grandma who told Melissa, “don’t get skinny after you have the baby or you’ll just get pregnant again”.

Ok then.

A Walk to Remember

“I’m going to be a terrible father!”

Yep, I said it. And I meant it (at least at the time).

Those are the words that pretty much wrapped up our unintentional and VERY long walk this weekend in Palm Springs.

It all started out pretty simple. Melissa and I were going for a short walk on the golf cart path next to our hotel. Turns out pedestrians aren’t allowed. Apparently, our lives were at risk from an errant golf ball or so the old man in the golf cart told us (he actually told us he’d been hit by a ball or two and I guess it really hurts).

So around the 6^th hole, we left the course and entered the country club neighborhood. This place was a maze. One turn looked like the next, which looked like the next. Pretty soon we felt like we were (and we were) walking in circles.

Like Moses wandering in the desert, we eventually found our way (in this case to the main gates). Unlike Moses, we couldn’t get them to part. We were trapped. Luckily, we only had to wait a few minutes for a car to leave and we followed them out. That’s when we realized we had no idea where we were.

So here’s where my bad parenting comes in. We were only going to take a short walk, so we didn’t take WATER or a CELL PHONE. I took my pregnant wife on a walk in Palm Springs, in a neighborhood neither of us knew, without WATER or a CELL PHONE?!?!

The good news: it wasn’t that hot… yet.

The bad news: we were still a long ways from home.

Eventually and with the help of the Holiday Inn Express we figured out where we were and more importantly how to get back to where we wanted to be.

In all, we probably walked 5 or 6 miles. Let’s just call the bad planning a bump along a very long journey into parenthood. Even longer than our walk in Palm Springs.

Don't let the picture fool you, you don't want to be lost here.

Now it's Officially Official!

In the circle on the right... that's my kid!

I've never been more nervous for someone else's doctor appointment before... until today. We met with our OBGYN today for the first time since Melissa became pregnant.

Here's what I learned.

Number 1: Be prepared for a lot of paperwork. Here's the good news, none of it's for dad. Still, it takes mom a long time to fill out.

Number 2: Bring questions. My wife brought a list. I brought... some table scraps in my mind. Bad idea. Next time, I'm writing it down so I don't forget.

Number 3: Brace yourself... you're going to be a FATHER!

The third one is probably most important. All of a sudden, this somewhat mythical being you've been talking about for the last few weeks is... well... real.

First, the doctor gives you a due date. (Mark April 11th everyone, we're going to try to get this kid in under the tax deadline!) Next, you get the ultrasound picture (above). It's like this... remember sticking your tongue against a battery when you were a kid. You knew you were going to get a jolt, but you were always surprised by how much. These two pieces of information are exactly like that... a sharp jolt of reality.

After the appointment with the doctor, Melissa filled out more paperwork. We started looking at pregnancy classes (I guess they teach you how to be pregnant).

Something else we learned today that might come into play in about 7 months... our delivery hospital is anywhere between 20 and 40 minutes away. It all depends on the traffic and the time of day. Let's hope labor starts in the middle of the night.

Part 2: Information Overload...

Last weekend I bought my first baby book. Went to Barnes & Noble and was shocked to find there were more books about ways to make a baby (pictures included)... than how to prepare for a baby. And there are even fewer for dads.

I ended up buying one of the two I found. It's called, "The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips and Advice for Dads-to-Be". What I really like about the book is it breaks down your wife's pregnancy by month. It tells you what's going on with her (pregnancy gingivitis? Is this really a thing?), the baby (currently would look like something out of the "Alien" movies) and you (apparently a majority of men have at least a fleeting fear that the baby's not theirs).

Here's the thing. On one hand, the book is doing a good job of calming my fears about certain things. I now know when Melissa is supposed to go to the doctor (next week by the way) and what to expect at each appointment (I'm really looking forward to hearing a heart beat).

On the other hand... it's also giving me a whole new list of things to worry about. Miscarriages, preclampsia, paying for college, tests like amniocentesis and the list goes on.

The worst part.... I'm only on the third month!

Part 1: Information Overload…

We’ve known Melissa’s been pregnant for nearly 3 weeks. Already I feel overwhelmed by the amount of information out there.

Ever heard of “Pregorexia”? Me neither, until I saw a story about it on the news. The lady in this story was so concerned about the weight she replaced eating with working out. Turns out, pregnant women need to eat. Who knew?

Meantime, Melissa has lost a fair share of weight over the last few months and is concerned about putting it all back on. So what do I do? I tell her I’m concerned she may become “pregorexic”. I'm sure you can guess how that conversation went after that.

Here’s the first lesson I will pass onto dads-to-be…

DON’T ASK YOUR WIFE IF SHE’S PREGOREXIC!!!

Did I actually think she was going to be pregorexic? No. So why did I ask? Because I’m an idiot.

Part 2: So... we have something to tell you

This past weekend my parents came to visit. For us, their trip was two-fold. A) To celebrate my dad and my wife's birthday B) to tell them our big news.

Here's how it went down...

Me: So how do you guys feel about being grandparents?

My dad: For how long?

Certainly not the answer I expected. Turns out, my dad was so caught off guard, he actually thought we were trying to pawn our dog off on him.

My mom on the other hand reacted this way.

Mom: You mean like you're planning on having a baby, or you're actually having a baby? Am I going to be a grandparent soon? Are you pregnant now?!?!

Each question actually got louder.

Needless to say. They were both very excited.

My mom again brought up getting an apartment close by. I told her we're moving to Egypt.

We'll take the third one from the left

Part 1: So... we have something to tell you

The next big step in this whole process has been, who to tell. Obviously, we wanted to tell our parents, but at the same time we haven't even been to the doctor yet. So, is it too early? Our we jinxing ourselves? Are they going to be cool about it?

Here's the thing. I'm torn. On one hand, I want to tell anyone who will listen. On the other hand, I want to tell no one. First, I feel like I need doctor confirmation. Second, telling people makes it really... well... real.

In the end, we didn't feel like we had a lot of choice. We were about to spend the weekend wine tasting with Melissa's parents. How were we going to avoid hiding it when Melissa passed on some of the best wines in the country?

Guess who's not drinking?

Despite my initial unease, it turned out to be no big deal. Her parents were stoked, and really said a lot less about it than I expected. Melissa says it's because its so early in the process. She says "what are they going to say... 'tell us exactly how it happened'?" Good point.

Telling her brother was fun. We were in a deep conversation about the upcoming football season and he was explaining to me why his Steelers are the greatest team ever (the same conversation we have every year at this time).

Start scene:

Me: So let's talk about something more important... would you rather be "Uncle Ricky", "Uncle Enrique"...

Ricky: What? (Looking at Melissa now) What?

Me: Well, you're going to have to decide

Ricky: You're pregnant?!? What?!?! WOW! (hugs all around)

End Scene.

Good stuff.

Today we tell my parents. Every since my cousin had a baby 2 years ago, my mom's been chomping at the bit for a grandbaby of her own. She even told Melissa that when we have a baby they'll move into an apartment nearby.

Um... well... that's... um... let's talk about that later.

The Big Announcement

In the movies when a woman tells her husband that she's pregnant, she finds some really clever way to deliver the news over a romantic dinner. In real life, your wife just blurts it out while you're standing in the parking lot of Carmax. Or at least that's how it happened for me.

Here's sort of how it went down:

Melissa (my wife): "so I took a pregnancy test this morning and I'm pregnant."

Me: "Really? (long pause) Really? (another long pause) Maybe you should take a second one".

Melissa: "I already did".

Me: "OK then."

End scene.

(This is just another example of why we make a great team, we're always on the same page.)

Two thoughts immediately crossed my mind. First, "Way to go boys! Glad all the plumbing is in order."

Second, "Holy crap! How are we going to afford this?"

Here's the thing, we had just bought a car. And by "just bought", I don't mean a month ago, a week ago, even a few days ago. I mean the final paper work went through about fifteen minutes earlier. That's why we were in the Carmax parking lot.

Either way... this is the beginning of a 9-month odyssey. The good news... we had just traded in Melissa's Camaro for something with room for a car seat.

Thank goodness we upgraded. We'll need the space